Grace surrounds the last few days. I switched from compulsively listening to AA speakers to compulsively listening to New Earth webcasts from Oprah and Eckhart Tolle. I feel a quickening of my Spirit. My ability to step behind my thoughts and emotions is increasing. A couple of times I've been able to feel the pain body wake up and stop myself from reaction.
This is my Higher Power. God is Love and I Am God masked by ego and pain body. Steps 1-3 become more real to me every day. I believe steps 4-9 will bring freedom as Light is shed on ego and resentment.
No further outbursts from James. He's off restriction today and has gorged on Power Rangers. His Dad and girlfriend are visiting this weekend and he's marking the days off the calendar. His need for his Dad is pulling me strongly. A move might be in order. I don't trust myself to decide. I'm working to fully accept and be grateful for where we are. God knows what we need and where we need to be. I keep telling myself; "This is NOT an emergency!"
I pulled Tate out of school at noon today. His reports from school are outstanding and I received a call from the Principal to let me know that he's making great decisions. With his teacher's blessing we went out to lunch and rode our bikes around town this afternoon. I worked hard to be present and give him my full attention. He's nine and I pray God he never sees his mother drink again.
God, thank you for this day. May I never forget that you are but a breath away. Your Will not mine.
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